Got those predestination giant ape numb buttock blues

[f4f3]

Went to see King Kong last night, and it was three hours long and bad. Well, that's a trifle unfair, but not as unfair as keeping me there for three hours.

First of all, if I want to see a chick-flick (not an uncommon occurrence) then I prefer to be warned in advance. I can switch mental gears, and start expecting lingering glances instead of explosions. A lot of this film is about a gurl meeting an unsuitable, violent guy and even though she, like, changes him with her love he still can't get away from his old life, and she has to choose between him and this sensitive artist type, who's much better for her, but nowhere near as sexy and dangerous. We've all seen this before, and it's no surprise when she ends up with the sensitive guy after the dangerous one gets killed by the cops (although, granted, it's unusual for her to be snogging the one before the other's body hits the ground).

Second of all, this is a remake, so there are no suprises. OK, I knew that going in, but even so, it's a long way to the top of the Empire State when your heart just doesn't care. And I didn't care. I didn't care about the Fay Wray stand in, I didn't care about the sensitive writer, I didn't even care about Jack Black's excellent Orson Welles impersonation. And I espescially didn't care about Gollum in a monkey suit. "Die, already" I kept thinking during the hour or so he spends on top of the aforementioned skyscraper, "Die and let us go home." To be fair, this may have had something to do with the Central Park ice-skating Bambi homage, where I just wanted to hide under my seat with embarrasment, and after which, frankly, death was too good for the big palooka. But I hadn't expected to be cheering on the guys in the bi-planes.

"Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour."
- Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)

Yes, there are plenty of good moments - the dino slugfest on Skull Island. The authentic 30's New York. Some nice jokes - the writer in a cage, Jack Black's Welle's pastiche, and the whole thing looks wonderful. 30 minutes in I was praying that someone has put Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" in Jackson's hands - he would be superb to direct the ultimate Batman v. Superman epic. But, on the whole, a disapointment. If you can't engage with the characters, you can't engage with the story, and there was nothing here to hang my emotions on. Now if only she had ditched the writer off the roof and loped off into the "beayootiful" sunset with the ape...

Comments

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

What I cannot figure out is why it's been remade so many times, and why people keep going to see it anyway... I can see the original as an artifact of its time, but....?

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

I think because it's another way of telling the Beauty and the Beast story, and think how many remakes of that there have been over the years. I didn't really get into the drawbacks of remakes, apart from my predestination crack, but we KNOW what's going to happen, we KNOW that there are certain scenes that will have to be in the picture, and my curiousity about how Jackson would stage them didn't come close to compensating for the loss of suspense. And the more I think about the Bambi scene, the more I want to toss my cookies.

[rparvaaz.livejournal.com]

I now want to see it just to check out the Bambi scene...

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss ten bucks goodbye...

[morgaine-x.livejournal.com]

Oh, please, don't be sick!
I can see it as being B & t B, but it's one of those where the fascination misses me, I'm afriad. Maybe it's just 'cause I don't think apes are cute...

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

Me neither! But then, I got picked on at school...

[deililly.livejournal.com]

I was incredibly disappointed by it but had lost the urge to rant by the time I was near my lj. Found most of the dinosaurs a bit of overkill to be honest. And they kept trying to make the woman Galadriel which really got up my nostrils. Walking down the road glowing was just too much. I loved LOTR but hated all the close up shots of a wide eyed Frodo which also slid into this one. If I saw her waterfilled baby blues one more time I was going to throw something at the screen.

Did love the opening New York scenes though. Knew I would love Jack Black but was surprised how much I liked the writer. Funny seeing Billy Elliot all growed up. I had to look twice.

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

It took me a good 24 hours after seeing the movie to work up a head of steam about anything, or even the will to live. I know what you mean about the Galadriel affect - I think they did use the BMW headlights in her eyes at one point. You're right - the writer was fun, and there was at least one great line: "If you really loved the theatre, you would have jumped."