On a being on holiday for a month

First of all, it wasn't long enough.
Secondly, I spent most of it eating at good restaurants, drinking good coffee and playing chess.
The rest I wasted.

So tomorrow morning I'll get up around 6.30 and drive through to Edinburgh. OK, maybe i'll get up around 7 and, to be fair, I've been doing that for most of the month because, daylight.

Nothing about this month has persuaded me that I need to work to live (apart from the obvious requirement for money, which isn't going away). I've been perfectly happy and pretty well occupied without 40-50 hours of making programmes and projects go a bit more smoothly than they would without me.

There IS a feeling that life has been on hiatus for a bit, but I don't think that's exclusively to do with work. I'm getting a little angsty about relationships (yes, I know, stop sniggering) and I've realised that I've been less than fully involved (the phrase I wanted to use was "pulling my punches", but that doesn't sit well in context, does it?) for quite a while now. And I'm thinking that if I can't fully engage, then maybe I don't want to engage at all. Cautious and contingent, to summarise, sucks. Today, for the first time in maybe seven years, I missed Little Miss Gun To A Knife Fight. Being married to her was never easy, but god, it was never dull. As an epigram for a marriage it might be a bit dodgy, but I miss...

Lay on, Macduff,

And damned be him that first cries, “Hold, enough!”

So we'll see what happens over the next while, and in the meantime, tonight, I'll watch a movie for men who like movies for men, and get an early night.

And tomorrow? Well it's on with the motley...