f4f3 | It's Been A Long Month...

No disrespect intended, January, but I can't wait to see the back of you. I'm fed up with getting up in the dark, and getting home from work in the dark. I know it's the price we pay for those summer days when it's light from 4 or 5 till midnight, but enough is enough...

I'm back at the gym again after a week off - a combination of a touch of virus and my routine being messed up - and I've been going after work instead of before. This seems to be working out reasonably well - I get a bit more sleep, and I'm also burning more calories. 413 last night, 423 tonight. I've decided not to weigh myself until next Sunday morning, and I'm almost back on a healthy diet.

I notice I haven't posted much about work, lately, mostly because I have to lock those posts. I'll do just that, shortly, but suffice to say now that it's been a hard graft this month.

It's also been a hard month personally - things still aren't straight between my dad and I, my ex-partner is being what I'd call unreasonable, and a couple of other situations are, well, less than ideal.

There are lots of upsides to be grateful for, and I am.

unblinkered has been wonderfully supportive, in spite of having her own troubles. I still have a job, not something to be taken for granted these days. I like where I live, and I have the cottage to retreat to. My pets are fine.

I think I have to get my head straight. "Nothing is good or bad but we think it so", as some old geezer said. There are steps I can take which give me more control: drinking and eating in moderation, taking exercise. Getting back to meditation in some form, writing more - here and elsewhere. Where there are relationships which are giving me pain, take the initiative instead of accepting situations that hurt me.

The way to do this, I guess, is to do it. Diet, exercise, write, meditate. Most of all, be mindful and be here, not live for imaginary futures or pasts long gone.

I think that's where January has been the kicker - everything seems darker, harder, longer. But hey, it's only a few days until February. I've always liked February.