Who I am, who I want to be, who I can be.

[f4f3]

I have a post to write about the difference between being who I am, who I want to be, and who I can be.

I do have the feeling that this is probably the root subject of much fiction and most self-help written in the last… well, in the last ever.

And as a place holder for that post, since I need to get off the train in 5 minutes, have some lyrics from Amanda Palmer.

In my mind

In a future five years from now
I'm a hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hungover

Because I 
Will be the picture of discipline 
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire

And it's funny how I imagined 
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how
To see
That I'm not exactly the person that I thought I'd be.

And in my mind
In the far-away here-and-now
I've become in-control somehow
And I never lose my wallet

Because I 
Will be the picture of discipline 
Never fucking-up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver

And it's funny how I imagined 
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how
To see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be.

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful,
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over

Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older

And it's funny how I imagined 
That I could be that person now
That that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
That I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't want to be the person that I want to be.

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground

I'll start pounding the lid,
Saying, "I haven't finished yet,
I still have a tattoo to get,
It says, 'I'm living in the moment'".

And it's funny how I imagined 
That I could win this win-less fight
Maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I want to live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually
See
That I am exactly the person that I want to be.

Fuck yes. 

I am exactly the person that I want to be.

And if you read down this far, how it's meant to sound, as a treat. 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q9WZtxRWieM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Bugger, well that didn't work. I will sort it later, honest I will.

Comments

[helianthas.livejournal.com]

Wow I love this! Would like to hear it.

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

Can't sort the link from work, but if you go on You Tube and search for "In My Mind" Amanda Palmer, then it should pop up. And she looks gorgeous in the video. And even better in real life.